We’re Building Our Dream Home, But We Don’t Agree On Style

Building a custom home is an exciting and fulfilling experience. However, when a married couple has different design styles, it can be a challenging process. Each person has their preferences and style that they want to be reflected in the home. To ensure that both parties are happy with the final outcome, here is some advice that could be helpful:


1. Communication is Key: Open communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, and building a home is no exception. Both partners should express their design preferences, likes, and dislikes from the beginning. A good approach is to create a vision board or mood board that includes colors, textures, and styles that appeal to both parties. Discussing and comparing the images and notes can lead to a better understanding of each other's design style and preferences.

2. Prioritize the Must-Haves: With different design styles, there will be some design features that each partner wants to have in their home. Prioritizing these must-haves can help prevent disagreements and ensure that everyone's needs are met. By focusing on these non-negotiable features, the couple can find common ground and work on incorporating these elements into the overall design.

3. Focus on Shared Values: While the couple may have different design styles, they may have shared values that can guide their decision-making. For example, if both spouses value sustainability, they can prioritize environmentally friendly materials and energy-efficient features in their home.

4. Find a Middle Ground: It's essential to identify where both design styles overlap to create a cohesive design. By focusing on the shared design elements, the couple can create a home that meets both of their preferences. For instance, if one partner loves modern design, and the other prefers a traditional look, the couple could opt for a transitional style that blends both.

5. Hire a Professional Designer: Working with a professional designer can help bridge the gap between the couple's different design styles. A professional can offer an objective perspective and create a design that meets both parties' needs. They can help identify the common ground and create a design that is tailored to the couple's individual preferences.

6. Stay within Budget: Building a custom home can be expensive, and it's essential to stay within the budget. Discussing the budget from the beginning can help avoid any financial disagreements during the project. By prioritizing the must-haves, the couple can allocate their budget more effectively, ensuring that both partners are happy with the outcome.

7. Remember the Big Picture: Building a home is a long-term investment, and it's important to remember the big picture. While the couple may have different design styles, they are building a home together that they will share for many years to come. It's important to focus on creating a space that is comfortable, functional, and reflects both spouses' personalities.

8. Create Separate Spaces: If the couple cannot find a compromise on every aspect of the design, they may want to consider creating separate spaces within the home. Examples of spaces that would be great individual projects:

  • Home Theater: A home theater can provide a space for an immersive viewing experience.

  • Wine Cellar: A wine cellar can be a luxurious addition for wine tasting, proper storage, and collecting.

  • Personal Gym: A personal gym can be a convenient and private space for working out.

  • Art Studio: An art studio can provide a space for creating or displaying art.

  • Library: This can be a cozy and quiet space for relaxing and browsing books.

  • Zen Garden: For meditation and relaxation, a zen garden can provide a tranquil and peaceful outdoor space.

  • Indoor Pool: An indoor pool can be a year-round source of exercise and entertainment, especially here in the Midwest.

  • Home Office: A dedicated home office can provide a quiet and productive space for work.

  • Greenhouse: For those who love gardening and plants, this can provide a year-round space for growing plants and vegetables.

  • Outdoor Kitchen: An outdoor kitchen can offer a convenient and enjoyable space for grilling and socializing, making it an excellent addition for individuals who enjoy cooking and entertaining outside.

Sheri Scott